A Rollercoaster of Emotions

So here it is Wednesday, and I’m finally blogging about our weekend. It was quite rough, and truth be told, I considered not even sharing it. But I love this space given it serves as a journal, documentation of sorts, and I am in much better place.

To backtrack, I came home on Thurday and discovered one of the babies had been sick. I noticed Mason was retreating under the bed and becoming less social, same as when he was diagnosed with cancer. By Friday morning, things had worsened so much. Matt discovered he had been sick throughout the night, and in turn, he had dislodged his feeding tube. He chewed off half of it, but the rest was still in his esophagus and gagging him. I was a nervous wreck. I shoved breakfast in my mouth, grabbed him, and we raced over to the ER vet hospital. They removed his tube feed and let us go home.

On Friday evening, I met with my therapist for the first time since May. It was a great session. I ramble, she makes sense of it, reframes my thinking. She shared this with me, and it’s me to a “t!”

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On Thursday, I roasted seasoned two pork tenderloins, and Matt made a mushroom wine reduction. I roasted vegetables and tossed them with mini gnocchi. We had the leftovers for dinner on Friday. Rachel was super interested!

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Saturday morning I made toast: havarti and blackberry combo with poppy seeds and sunflower seeds / avocado and egg on the other.

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I got my hair cut then treated myself to a late lunch at The French Market.

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Half-caf cappuccino

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I chose their goat cheese, walnut, artichoke hearts crepe. They forgot the artichoke hearts, so I was able to get a big cup on the side. I lucked out from their tiny mistake! I ate until I was satisfied and saved the rest.

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My awesome hairstylist reminded me it was tax free weekend, so I braved Old Navy. I found a few things then headed home.

Matt and I got ready for a date night downtown. We kinda splurge when we go out, but since we don’t do it often, we justified it. haha We chose to dine at the Oliver Royale.

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We split a salad to start. It wasn’t super special, so we realized we could’ve gone without, but no biggie. Menu description: Baby Lettuces / spring citrus segments, grapes, honeycrisp apple candied nuts, local wildflower honey, charred orange vinaigrette.

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Cheeks and cherries: sweet potato, cherry, strawberry, sunflower, nettles . Holy moly this was excellent!

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I chose the red snapper over lentils with a nice sauce, asparagus, and sprouts.

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Matt’s entree: Roasted Pork Chop / summer beans, endive, spanish chorizo, parmesan polenta, cherry & apple chutney.

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We then went on a walk down Gay St., and the sky was gorgeous. It was borderline chilly, and I loved the weather!

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One of our new swanky hotels. I follow them on Ig, and they look so nice! I wish we could have a staycation and view K-town like a tourist.

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Jessie and Katey came to Knoxville and transformed these steps at the intersection of Cumberland Ave. and 11th St. They. Are. Incredible!

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I had to pose with them.

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865Life shared my post in their story. I love following their Ig account – check them out for all things in Knox!

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Sunday morning was even worse for Mason. He came downstairs for breakfast at 6 AM, and he immediately began getting sick. He was so dehydrated because he had not been eating. I again ate breakfast really quick (leftover crepe with artichoke hearts, avocado, and honey), and we again left for the hospital. I had to leave him, which broke my heart.

I came home and had an early lunch of egg over wilted spinach, beet chips and apple with cinnnamon and pb.

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I attended a yoga session at Blue Slip Winery held by the 865 Fit Tribe. It was fabulous, but I couldn’t shut off my mind about Mason.

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Sweet Jax snuggles when I got home!

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I made a quick dinner of roasted vegetables over greens, hummus toast, and I split a mediterranean chicken burger.

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On Monday, I spoke with one of the doctors following Mason’s progress. Long story short, chemo did not work. He fell out of remission, and the ascites and liver involvement had picked up again. So essentially we were back at square one as we were in June, even with his body weight. We were devastated. The oncologist met with Kaci and myself, and we discussed additional options. He feels strongly about an oral drug that we then started on Monday.

Look at this sweet face! He was SO excited to see us!

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Mason stayed overnight again to be observed and to be given more IV fluids. We were able to pick him up yesterday after work, and he so full of life again. He crawled into bed with us last night, and then we woke up at 4:50 AM to him wanting love. I was not mad in the least. I loved waking up to all of my babies safely at home. We’re cautiously optimistic. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t bitter. Bitter that regardless if this works and puts him into remission, we were given a glimpse of what will one day happen. He’ll come out of remission, and we’ll have to put him on comfort measures. This is not a cure – just a means to give him more quality of life. There are countless people and animals suffering, I know. But he does not deserve this. He’s nothing but an angel. We’re thankful we have a team taking care of him. Financially, it’s very stressful. But I couldn’t imagine not doing all that we can. He has the strongest will to live. So as always, please keep him and all our babies in your thoughts and prayers!

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4 thoughts on “A Rollercoaster of Emotions

  1. Our sweet pookie pants! Gah I so badly wish this was just a nightmare and would go away. I can’t believe we are having to even talk about cancer and Mace is having to fight for his life.

    Like

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